so today was okay...went shoping and swimming...then went and saw "john tucker must die" really good movie i loved it, it reminded me of this guy i used to like we were like kinda together anyways thats not the point he liked me i liked him for the longest time since i was eight...untill about a year or two ago...yeah... i just thougth it would have been fun to show him what it was like to get your heart broken lol...but he moved...ANYWAYS...enough ashley enogh....im really having a hard time with like my image these day and like guys and especially what guys think of me i dont know whats wrong with me like i usually dont care about this kind of stuff but really...like personally i think its my new hair cut it makes me look like a boy...and im gettin fat....and with my hair cut and being fat at the same time i really dont look good in dressy things anymore its really sad, like i dont know i think guys prolly think im like a dike or somthing ....i dunnno i mean i used to have guys chasing me and like the one guy i really like i cant even seem to get i mean it prolly sounds wrong but i dont even like him for like physical reasons i just really like him...but hey w/e i dont care im over it .....or i will be in like a day or two...i hope....i just need to focus on somthign eles...like loosing weight ...and gettin my hair back god....and ill try to like not talk to him for a while...mabey i dont know its kinda gay but w/e, mabey ill rethink everything and write a new post after i'v actually had proper sleep k...okay ...